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Weekly Q and A
Q:
I am a 30 year old teacher and a personal
trainer as well. I have been divorced over 3 years. I
have been dating this girl for a while. When we discussed our previous partners,
she told me that she was still in contact with some of her ex's. Some of the
reasons were to discuss training etc. I was hurt that not only did she need to
supplement something I supposedly could not give her but then it was a subject I
am very qualified about. I am trying to be relaxed about this but it's
hard knowing she speaks with her ex's from time to time.
Am I out of line to be bothered by this?
A:
Your girlfriend "speaking" to her ex's from
time to time doesn't sound like a problem unless you have negative
feelings about it. If you are feeling jealous and you're sure that
she's truly "with" you, it's time to be with those
feelings, acknowledge them, see where they are coming from.
Talk with her about what's going on with you without accusing
her. She may not realize how this is affecting you and there
might be some ways that she could keep these men as friends without
you having jealous feelings. When
something like this would happen between us, we would find that we
were playing "old tapes" in our minds from past
relationships and old self esteem issues. We have found that the
jealousy disappeared when we talked with each other about ways that
we could help each feel more secure in situations where jealousy
would came up. We also worked on ways that we could help ourselves
feel more secure. We
suggest that whenever limiting, jealous thoughts come into your
mind, start focusing on what you want in your life
and what is positive in your relationship. Hope this answers
your question. Blessings, Susie To read an article
that deals with this specific issue,
Click
here for articles on jealousy.
Quote of the Week:
The jealous bring down the
curse they fear upon their own heads. ~Dorothy Dix
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(614) 459-8121 Email
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