There are many ways to prevent a broken heart, a breakup or divorce if jealousy is an issue in your relationship. Chances are, if you are jealous or your loved one is jealous, you already have suffered a broken heart but you may not be quite ready to breakup or get divorced.

Our hope is that you will use some of the following ideas to heal your broken heart and prevent a breakup or divorce:

1. Make your expectations and agreements clear.

If jealousy is an issue in your relationship, it's very important that your intentions for your relationship are very clear. Assumptions can kill a relationship pretty quick and it's one of the sources of fuel that feeds jealousy and mistrust.

Take the time to find out what's really going on before you make assumptions about

what did or did not happen.  You cannot know what's going on inside another person or their motivations until you ask.  So, ask first to get some clarity in whatever  situation triggers you.

Mark Twain said, "I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."  We think this is exactly what happens to kill relationships, especially if one or both people are jealous.  People make a great many assumptions about what people are thinking and doing without truly knowing whether that's what's really going on.

Often times, when you know someone's motivation, you begin to understand them a little better. So, before you jump into creating troubles, ask for a deeper clarification of what was said and what happened.  You may end up being surprised when you do.

One way to stop jealousy is to share your expectations in advance. And yes, it is possible to do this and still keep the "romance" between the two of you.  If you expect to be treated a certain way, make sure that you tell the other person that this is the way you'd like to be treated.

2. Define what you want in your relationship and then begin doing it.

Most couples avoid looking at and doing something about the problems that exist in their relationships--flirting with other people, jealousies, lack of passion, lack of common interests, to name a few.

We suggest that you talk about how you can create the kind of relationship that each of you wants.  Be prepared to talk honestly and to listen without interrupting the other person.  If you are the "jealous" partner and trust is a big issue for you, this may be very difficult but we suggest that you start anyway.

Do you want to spend more time together?  If you do, how can this happen?  Do you want more appreciation from each other? If you do, in what ways can both of you show appreciation to each other? Are you monogamous and what does that mean for each of you?

Take the time to decide what you want and then have the courage to go for it.

3.  Improve communication in your relationship.

For many couples, lack of communication is a big issue and it usually becomes even more evident when one or both people are jealous.  One person may agree to do something just to keep the peace and then let resentment build. Another person may be afraid to speak what they are feeling. Another person may be wanting to be loved and appreciated in a certain way but are not willing to say it or have the feeling they deserve to have it.

To improve communication, make sure that each of you listens to understand each other. This is a skill that you have to learn to do because most of us weren't taught

how.

Listening to understand means listening with your full attention, being entirely present with the other person, without becoming defensive about what each other is saying.  Whether you are the jealous one or not, fears of one kind or another usually surface and create defensiveness. Then the person either shuts down and retreats or reacts with angry, violent words or actions.

We suggest that you begin now to put your fears aside and start listening to each other. If you need the help of a therapist, get it. If you need to read some materials to help you heal jealousy, get it.

Is it easy? No, it may not be easy but the alternative is to continue to create separation and disconnection in your relationship, with possibly breaking up.

We suggest that you try our ideas to prevent your relationship from breaking up because of jealousy.